What movies have not aged well?

-Two words. Mickey Rooney.

-”Ah so!”

-Bond tricks the virginal Miss Solitaire into having sex with him.

My wife found I had been on Pornhub. She considers this adultery and wants a divorce. She hasn't touched me in over 6 years. What should I do?

-Bond slapping Tracy.

The Living Daylights & Rambo III

Moonraker

Canadians went out of their way to help Americans stranded in Canada after 9.11.2001. Why did Canadians help so much the way they did? We read that Canadians don't particularly like Americans to begin with.

-Tracy’s father having uh…interesting ideas about what a happy marriage should be. Hell, he punches her out at one point.

-”That should keep you in curry…” said to an Indian agent.

-All the bad guys are black.

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-Bond slaps Tania pretty hard, and gets rough with her when he tries to get her to confess what her orders were.

You Only Live Twice

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service

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Dr No

Breakfast at Tiffany’s

-Choo Me? Hai Fat?

If the world was flat, would it be possible to see Mount Everest if it was on the other side of the Earth on a clear sunny day?

-Bond getting rough with Miss Anders, and slapping her. Christ!

A View to a Kill

-”Quarrel. Fetch my shoes!”

Everyone says the pet population is out of control. Everyone says you MUST spay or neuter your pets. No one wants to talk about how its almost $1,000 to spay or neuter a pet. Why is it so expensive if its so necessary? Animal shelters do it for free.

-What was with the over-acting of the French guy Mayday kills in the Eiffel Tower? Been watching too much Allo Allo?

Diamonds Are Forever

Live and Let Die

What is a good habit and what is bad one?

-The comedy French taxi driver, also over-acting. Someone doesn’t like the French…

-J W Pepper

Goldfinger

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

-Bond getting slaphappy again, this time with Tiffany Case.

Octopussy

-In the second half of Daylights, Bond gets aid from Afghan guerrillas. Rambo III is set against the same backdrop of the Soviets’ campaign in Afghanistan, getting help from the brave, starry-eyed, bold, freedom-loving peasant patriots against the cruel rapey Russians, and it even ends with a dedication to the mudjaheddin.

When does a man tell a woman he has feelings for her?

-”She is very sexyful!”

-Bond disguised as a Japanese fisher looks exactly like - Sean Connery wearing a bad wig.

-Note how the next couple of ones were ….well…as grounded in reality as you can be with Bond.

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-Comedy gay hitmen Mr Wint and Mr Kidd

From Russia With Love

-Bond forcing himself on Pussy.

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-”Why do Chinese girls taste different to all other girls?”

The Man with the Golden Gun

-Bond’s idea of placating Goodnight after being forced to hide in the cupboard all night while he’s making out with Miss Anders is to tell her that her time will come soon…